Sunday, January 24, 2016

Wisdom Not Passed Down

In the name of Allah, All-Knowing

Inside my head
is a place,
a secret garden
nobody has yet entered.
Questions
sprout and grow
like crops in demand;
But I am only one person--
these pair of hands can only
do so much.
I was taught how to plant,
I watered them with enthusiasm
and sunned them with curiosity
--but to turn the crops
to food of thought,
I was not taught how
As Time took away
my only chance.

Here I am,
Alone.
As I look at these
pair of hands,
I wonder how can I regain
the wisdom
not passed down?

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Love Story for Book Lovers

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious.



I could not sleep last night and the heart was not at ease. As a result, I wrote this short story. Why don't you try reading and let me know what you feel about it? :D




DEAR DIARY

"A first book has some of the sweetness of a first love."
–Robert Aris Willmott

Dear diary,
Do you know what I hate the most? A big crowd.

No, don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate people. I love talking to friends; having casual chitchat with colleagues or talk about life with my best friends. But I hate – if hate is too strong a word, then I guess, I should replace it with ‘dislike’ – yes, I really dislike a big group of people. Whenever I find myself in the midst of a crowd, my breathing intensifies and my heart pounds faster and my vision seems to narrow and as I begin to sweat, I can practically hear everything! Yes, everything.

As you may now know, big crowds make me feel anxious and my only escapism is reading. And writing – to you.
***
It was December 5th afternoon. The day was fine just like any other day – the high sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue sky while soft breeze pecked softly on my cheeks. Fresh air filled my lungs and I felt refreshed and exhilarated, until I had to walk through a big crowd gathering in the square. I took a deep breath as I quickened my pace. I began to breathe heavily and I was soaking in sweat; my hearing often became more sensitive in this situation. I could hear people talking about soccer match last night, people talking about where to eat their luncheon, couples whispering to one another how much they love each other. And all I wanted was to get out of there. Find the bookstore where I could bury myself between the shelves, away from this maddening crowd.


Dear diary,
            Can you believe what happened today? After I escaped the crowd’s clutches, I found myself entering my safe haven. You know, the Safe Haven, my favourite book store? Yes, I went there. It was a little weird when I was greeted by another person instead of Mr. Kinsley, the store owner. The new assistant, she is a girl wearing a pair of spectacles. Affable and kind too. Since I was the only customer at that time, she followed me everywhere I went while offering me the assistance I didn’t need – you know me, diary; I never needed any help in bookstores. I prefer to take my own sweet time browsing through the books, no rush.
             
         So I politely dismissed the girl and she smiled at me as she left. It was the most brilliant smile I’ve seen today. Honestly, I lost track of time whenever I have books in my hand, though I noticed the girl came to check on me every once in a while – if I needed her assistance, that is. It was finally the time for me to leave. I took the books I wanted to buy to the check-out counter and watched the girl scanned the barcodes on each book.
             
              “That’s $41.
             
             I took out my wallet. As I was about to hand over the cash, I realised that I was $1 short. I checked my coins but there wasn’t enough.
             
            Guess I have to cancel my purchase. I don’t bring enough cash, $1 short. Sorry to trouble you after checking out these books...
            
             The girl reached out for sling bag near the counter, took out her purse and handed $1 bill to me.
             
            Here.
            
             I-I’m sorry?
             
            Take it, Liam. It’s the $1 you lent me a decade ago.

***
Dear diary,
Have I told you how I began to love books?

When I was 14, I used to go to our state library because it was just a stone’s throw away from my parents’ house. No, I didn’t go there to read nor did I borrow any book. In fact, I never borrowed a book. I frequented the place because of its quiet and relaxed ambience – a perfect place to sleep for someone who hates big crowd like me! Yet mom always thought I went to the library to do revision with friends. Hush, now, diary. This is our secret.

Books were the perfect sleeping draught for me. I open one, read a few lines and I’ve confirmed my ticket to lala-land. But what happened that fateful day had changed everything.

Yes, everything.

I went to the library as usual and slept one long hour there. I woke up, feeling refreshed, and was ready to return home. I walked slowly by the circulation counter where people borrow and return books loaned to them. I usually slipped by the front door unnoticed but a voice stopped me on my track. A voice so sweet I had to turn around and see which angel it belongs to.

Can I please borrow these books?” the voice belonged to a little girl in green long skirt. The librarian took the girl’s library card and scanned it. There were wrinkles around her brows when she looked at the computer screen but she forced a smile at the little girl,

I’m sorry but I cannot check out these books for you.

Why?

It seems that you have $1 fine on your card. Unless you pay the fine, I cannot check out these books for you.

The girl remained silent for a few moments before she asked innocently, “Can I pay the fine tomorrow? I don’t bring any money today.” But the librarian shook her head and dismissed her polite request. The girl looked devastated and tears started to well up in her eyes. I could see how much she wanted to borrow those books, so I fished in my front pocket for one dollar bill as I approached the counter. I placed the $1 note next to the books,

Excuse me, ma’am. This is to pay her fine. Can she borrow these books now?

The librarian looked at me, shifted her eyes to the $1 note and then to the little girl. She nodded, took the money and scanned the books. The girl was beaming with the most brilliant smile I have ever seen. I could feel blood rushing to my face and my cheeks started to get red.

You see, diary, I am shy around the opposite gender – especially the cute type. So I quickly escaped the scene so that nobody could see me blushing. I wanted to go home but the same sweet voice stopped me in my track, again.

Hey!

Diary, you know how nervous I get around girls. As I heard her voice, I quickened my pace hoping to lose her but she was persistent. She tried to catch up to me, walking briskly, with the books she borrowed in her arms.

Hey! Wait for me!

The louder she called for me, the faster I walked. And faster. Much faster.

THUD!

Ouch!

I stopped. I turned around. I saw the girl lying flat on the ground, her books scattered around her. I ran towards her, helping her to get back on her feet.

Are you okay?

I’m fine. Thanks a heap!

My face was red.

Urm...welcome?

Tasha.

Huh?

That brilliant smile again. “Tasha. That’s my name. What’s your name?

My...name?

Yep.

Call me Liam.”

Tasha and I, we became close friends after that. We often went to the library together. She loved to describe the books she had finished reading, always telling me to start reading them too. So diary, that’s how I began to view books differently.

***
Are you...Tasha?

You didn’t recognise me? Don’t tell me I look fat now,” said Tasha jokingly. I shook my head and explained that seeing her in the bookstore I visit three times a week is the last thing I could think of because I had never seen her in the bookstore before. After all, it was a decade ago when I last saw her in the library after her family had to move following her father’s redeployment.

I’m so glad I meet you today,” I confessed. My heart rate increased, my forehead began to sweat.

“Same here,” she smiled. “Uh-oh, can’t chitchat with you now. Boss is back from his errand. How about we go out this weekend?

My heart skipped a beat. Tasha beat me to asking her out this weekend.

S-sure. I’ll see you soon.

I approached the entrance, ready to leave.

Liam?

Y-yes?

Don’t forget to call me tonight,” she winked, then continued her work as if nothing happened. I walked past the entrance and my heart almost exploded with joy.

***
Dear diary,
            I am such a fool. How am I supposed to call a girl when I don’t even have her number? *sigh*



P/S: Don't worry, diary. Everything's under control. Tasha left her number at the back of the receipt. Now I'm going to call her. Good night, diary.



So. How was this short story? Kindly leave your thoughts and comments. I really appreciate it. :D

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Berpindah!

Dengan nama Allah, Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu.


Sudah berapa lama saya tidak menulis entri di blog ini? Terasa sedikit kekok membiarkan jemari ini kembali menari di atas papan kekunci, setelah bertahun tidak menulis...


Kesibukan sentiasa menghimpit diri beberapa tahun ini, but all was good. Mudah-mudahan selepas ini dapat meluang masa untuk kembali blogging walaupun sibuk. Doakan ya!

InshaaAllah, entry kali ini ingin berkongsi sesuatu yang menarik. Teruskan membaca. :)

***

Beberapa hari yang lalu, saya telah menimbulkan satu kontroversi dan kekecohan di kalangan pelajar saya di alam maya (Facebook dan Wechat) apabila saya memuatnaik status yang amat ambiguous pada 14 Disember lalu yang berbunyi,

"Rasanya dah tiba masa untuk berpindah..."

Statement tersebut di Facebook dan Wechat menerima banyak komen yang bertanyakan ke manakah saya mahu berpindah . . .

. . . yang telah mengisi idea nakal dalam kotak fikiran saya - ya, cubaan untuk mengenakan para pelajar yang banyak bertanya. It was the longest and most elaborate cyber prank I have ever done, and the result was...unpredictably heart-warming. Rasa berbunga hati ini. Ehehe.

Sebenarnya, status asal saya itu punya maksud lain tetapi melihatkan ramai yang pantas membuat kesimpulan yang saya akan berpindah sekolah, I decided to play along. Dua hari selepas status berpindah yang pertama, saya memuatnaik status berikut:

"Alhamdulillah, telah mendapat keizinan untuk berpindah."

Semakin ramai yang meninggalkan komen - rakan-rakan yang bertanya dan mengucap tahniah, dan para pelajar yang mahukan jawapan. Saya tidak reply langsung di ruangan komen - I left them with their own imagination.

Keesokannya, saya sengaja "memanaskan" lagi keadaan dengan status baharu:

"Alhamdulillah, dah melawat tempat baharu tadi. Semuanya okay walaupun tidak sehebat yang lama."

Status ini diikuti dengan kenyataan mahu mengemas barang-barang di bilik guru dan permintaan andai ada yang sudi menghulur bantuan. Sekali lagi, status ini dibanjir pelbagai jenis komen dari yang bertanya kepada yang mula membuat pelbagai spekulasi. Tidak kurang jugak yang mula kehilangan sabar kerana saya langsung tidak respons. Beberapa orang pelajar mula menghantar chat kepada saya,


Ramai yang bersungguh bertanyakan sebab saya berpindah,


Ada yang begitu concerned and ready to lend their ears andainya saya ada masalah sehinggakan mahu berpindah,


Malah ada yang mula emosional,


Tak kurang juga yang mula merayu agar saya tidak berpindah,



Pelajar-pelajar lelaki pula cuba menyembunyikan perasaan sedih mereka,




Saya sudah mula rasa tersentuh dan terharu dengan responses yang saya terima dari para pelajar yang benar-benar tidak mahu saya berpindah. Akhirnya, saya terpaksa mengalah kepada beberapa orang pelajar perempuan yang hampir menangis and were very close to breaking down.


...tetapi "permainan" ini masih diteruskan lagi!

Bagi memastikan prank ini berjaya, saya telah berkomplot dengan beberapa orang yang telah tahu (pelajar-pelajar perempuan di atas ini dan beberapa rakan sekerja) agar mereka diam dan act natural seolah-olah mereka tidak tahu apa-apa.

Tiga orang pelajar telah menawarkan diri untuk membantu saya mengemas meja dan packing barang-barang di bilik guru. Mereka juga telah saya beritahu hal sebenar dan mereka berjanji untuk tidak memberitahu rakan-rakan mereka berkenaan prank ini. Usai mengemas meja, saya memuat naik gambar ini dengan caption yang amat ambiguous,



"Meja telah dikosongkan. Tak sabarnya untuk berpindah! Goodbye yang lama. Hello yang baharu."

Ada pelajar yang sudah mula syak bahawa saya hanya akan berpindah meja, tapi tidak kurang juga yang masih bersedih kerana menganggap saya akan berpindah sekolah!

Akhirnya, saya mendedahkan juga hal sebenar kerana kasihan melihat pelajar-pelajar bersedih, terutamanya mereka yang berharap dan menjangkakan saya akan mengajar kelas mereka pada tahun hadapan. I feel so loved!


Honestly, I didn't mean to troll anyone. Saya bersembang dengan seorang rakan sekerja, Cikgu S, yang mencadangkan saya berpindah meja supaya ada ruang untuk meletakkan rak-rak buku untuk projek I Want To Read A Book tahun hadapan. Idea untuk troll tu datang kemudian. Ehehe.

***

Mungkin ada yang tertanya: Kenapa troll pelajar?

Mungkin ada yang tak bersetuju dengan cara saya, but here's my answer:

Belajar zaman sekarang tak sama macam belajar zaman dahulu. Students are more creative these days, tapi kurang hands-on experience. Setakat duduk sahaja dalam kelas, pagi bawa ke malam cuba siapkan kerja rumah...it can be very stressful. Instead of sajikan mereka dengan hiburan-hiburan murahan, a teacher's good sense of humour is what these students need. Kalau guru dan pembelajaran pun mendatar (monotonous) dan tak menarik, bagaimana pelajar nak pupuk minat? At least, bila ada surprises (and trolls!) seperti ini, para pelajar akan berasa lebih teruja dan look forward to learn more. At least that is what I believe.

Selain itu, prank ini juga telah memberikan kesan yang amat positif pada diri saya sendiri sebagai seorang guru. Setiap guru tahu adanya pasang surut dalam karier ini - in fact, lebih banyak down daripada up dengan permasalahan dan kerenah dari pelbagai pihak sehinggakan profesion keguruan ini menjadi sangat stressful. Bila tertekan, mulalah hilang motivasi dan semangat untuk mengajar. Betul? Bila keadaan sebegitu, kita perlukan dorongan untuk membakar semula semangat mengajar itu and from this little prank, I was reminded why I got into teaching profession.

Dari respons para pelajar, I feel needed, loved and appreciated. And these things are the important things that keep all teachers going, to keep us motivated and rekindling our passion in teaching.


Teaching is not only giving; there is give and take in teaching too, after all.





"Ya Allah! Ikhlaskanlah hati ini dalam mengajarkan ilmu dan mendidik generasi muda, sabarkanlah hati ini dengan kerenah mereka, dan janganlah Engkau padamkan semangat ini walau bertahun berada di lapangan dakwah yang kecil ini. Ameen."

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sit Awhile With Me

In the name of Allah, the Supreme.


I sat awhile with them,
around a table today.
Catching up to one another's life,
we had so much to say.
One is happy,
the other is happier;
O how I could relate --
I was once there!

I envy them
though I know I should not;
Allah's favours are on me
they never fell short!
So, my dearest friends:
Best wishes and prayers for thee;
if thou found true happiness,
never forget me.

Hafizuddin Yahaya,
Kuala Nerang,
5.45pm.



"O Allah! I beseech Thee. Ease my friends' way towards happiness and shower them with Thy Mercy. Ameen"

Monday, August 29, 2011

Catatan Akhir Ramadhan: Maaf Batin Zahir

Dengan nama Allah, Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Pengampun.


Berakhir sudah peluang untuk berpesta ibadah seberlalunya Ramadhan, tetamu dan sahabat yang sentiasa dirindu dan dikasihi.

Kini tiba pula Syawal pengganti Ramadhan. Masa untuk bergembira dan meraikan kejayaan sepanjang Ramadhan lalu. Firman Allah Ta'ala,
"Wahai orang-orang beriman! Telah difardhukan puasa ke atas kamu sebagaimana telah difardhukan ke atas mereka sebelum kamu, mudah-mudahan kamu bertaqwa."
[al-Baqarah, 2:183]

Tujuan utama kefardhuan berpuasa ke atas orang-orang beriman, iaitu orang-orang yang meyakini sebenar yakin sepenuh hati bahawa Allah adalah Tuhan mereka dan segala yang diusahakan adalah untukNya, ialah untuk melatih mereka menjadi orang bertaqwa -- orang-orang yang mampu melindungi diri mereka dari Murka dan Azab Allah Ta'ala (lihat video berkenaan puasa oleh Brother Nouman Ali Khan di sini).

Mari muhasabah diri: Sudahkah kita menjadi orang bertaqwa, iaitu orang yang dapat melindungi dirinya dari Murka dan Azab Allah Ta'ala? Berjayakah Madrasah Tarbiyyah Ramadhan mendidik kita menjadi orang sebegini?

Berjaya atau tidak, itu antara anda (dan saya!) dengan Allah. Ramadhan tetap berlalu, Syawal tetap tiba. Jika berjaya mendidik diri tahun ini, alhamdulillah wa syukrillah. Jika tidak berjaya, doakan bertemu Ramadhan lagi tahun hadapan. Apa-apa pun, sambutlah Aidil Fitri yang menjelang tiba ini dengan kegembiraan. Tidak perlu terlalu bersedih sehingga mencacatkan suasana Syawal. Sebaliknya, isikan awal Syawal dengan takbir membesarkan Allah, itu Sunnah Rasul s.a.w.

Selamat menyambut 'Aidil Fitri. Maaf batin dan zahir. Moga semoga amalan baik kita diterima Allah. :')

Jadi.

Di kesempatan ini, saya ingin menyusun sepuluh jari dengan hati tulus ikhlas ingin memohon keampunan semua pihak andai ada mana-mana penulisan saya yang mungkin telah menyinggung perasaan mana-mana pihak dengan saya sedar atau tidak saya sedari.

Maaf batin, maaf zahir.

Maaf batin, andai ada terlintas apa-apa perasaan mazmumah (keji) di hati saya semasa menulis atau ketika melihat update status atau entri anda yang tidak pernah saya zahirkan.

Dan juga maaf zahir, andai ada antara tindakan, perbuatan, lafaz bicara dan penulisan saya yang terlanjur. Itu kelemahan saya, khilaf manusia biasa.

Paling penting, semoga Allah menerima semua amalan baik kita semua sepanjang Ramadhan kali ini dan di bulan-bulan mendatang. Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum, ya Kareem!

Jangan terlalu excited buat persiapan raya itu ini tapi terlupa nak bertakbir membesarkan Allah dan pergi solat sunat hari raya!


Akhir kata, sambutlah ketibaan 'Aidil Fitri dengan perasaan gembira. Tetapi jangan dilupa pada yang tiada. Pada yang telah kembali menemui Pencipta, kirimkanlah doa kerana mereka menunggu (al-Fatihah buat mak tersayang. Din rindu mak!). Pada yang tiada di sisi, telefon kan ada? :')



"Ya Allah! Temukanlah kami lagi dengan Ramadhan pada tahun hadapan. Ameen!"