Deep(er) Conversations

I love deep and meaningful conversations. Because I can learn about a lot of things and about myself from them.

And I had two yesterday - one with R and another one with Z.

I'll share some here.


Conversation with R

I was in R's room. We talked about many things. About people, about our life principles, and about marriage. We revisited our short discussion on YM about early marriage and continued with theme marriage on general.

R: I told my mom I'll find a girl she likes. The girl doesn't have to be my type whatsoever. So long as my mom's happy.
Me: Ohoho~ Good son.
R: How about you?
Me: My mom doesn't mind much. She only told me to find a good girl I can be happy with and she wears scarf. Sounds easy eh?
R: Kinda.
Me: [laugh]
R: Why you wanna marry early?
Me: Hey, that is only if I have a wife candidate!
R: Don't you have one?
Me: [silent]
R: [laugh]
Me: You see, I've been in a relationship once. And I somewhat feel that something is lacking somewhere.
R: Sinful?
Me: That's one of it. But I feel deep inside that couple isn't my thing. Uncomfortable. That's why, when I have a girl I like and she likes me too, I wanna ask her hand in marriage. Get engaged, then marry her.
R: But don't you already have a girl you like?
Me: Sheesh . . . shut up! Damn you.
R: [laugh] I hope she likes you too. And I pray you both are destined to be together, get married and will live happily.
Me: I pray you'll find the girl that can "shake" your heart very soon!
R: Ameen to both.



Conversation with Z

We started with jumping from one topic to another, revolving about one person whose name I will not mention here. And then we talked about how people can be so different.

Me: You see, I'm not as open as some people think. I'm pretty shy. I take time to trust people but when I do, I'll care and concern very much about them. That's how things work with me.
Z: Are all guys like that?
Me: [laugh] Guys, like girls, are different from one individual to another. Some are very introvert, some are more extrovert. Try put them on a continuum [took a pencil]. Take this end [utmost left] as the most shy of people. D (our friend who is widely known as very shy) is here and you are somewhat more to the right.
Z: Are you insinuating that I'm not shy?
Me: No, no, no. I mean you're a bit of both. You're shy but you can be loud and warm with people you know. Like me. Now, we can put M here [the utmost right end]. She's most extrovert here, she likes to social.
Z: But she's not gedik.
Me: No, she's not [laugh].
Z: Yeah, I got it.
Then we jumped to a topic about life partners.
Z: You know, some of my friends (read: girls) complaints that nobody likes them. That they can't find a suitable candidate for life partner.
Me: [laugh] Wanna know what I think?
Z: What?
Me: They haven't tried. That, actually, is their problem.
Z: You mean?
Me: We like to talk about "God doesn't help those who don't help themselves" but do we actually apply it in our lives? I think, both men and women need to put effort to find their life partner. Do you agree about women should just wait for their destined soulmate to find them?
Z: [indifference] Hurm . . .
Me: I think that's bullshit. Allah doesn't help us if we don't help ourselves, remember? This is just my opinion: Everyone should put some effort to find life partner. Okay, don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying girls should go and flirt with guys. Na-ah. That's not what I meant.
Z: Then?
Me: I meant that everyone should do something if they want something, so long it doesn't disagree with our religion. Not all guys are extrovert, remember?
Z: Yeah.
Me: I remember walking down a street, saw two Malaysian girls beautifully scarfed. I smiled at them but they looked away. My intention was to greet them, not wooing them. But you see, things like this turns off introvert guys like me. Now let's get back to the context we were talking about: Girls should put some efforts too. As I emphasised, I didn't mean "flirt" when I said "putting some efforts". But in situations like I mentioned, can't those girls just smile back? We are not in some kind of Hollywood movies where the guys are so charming and confident with girls. We are talking about reality.
Z: So what if the girls smile back? Is there any difference at all?
Me: I'm a guy, my friend. There is a big difference there. When you return a smile, or greet back when greeted; you are actually helping yourself there. By returning smiles or greeting back, you sends a signal to guys that you're approachable. Introverts usually read body language well because they aren't good with verbals.
Z: Owh, really?
Me: I'd say, yes.




Note: I reconstructed some parts of the conversation, omitted some names and turned its content into a more suitable read for public. If I write exactly as the original conversation, there will be more craps to read than the intended contents. Ahaha~